Moving into the Car

Isn't she a beauty?

It is that time of year when life just gets so crazy. The schedule is full and we are busy practically every day of the week. And one thing seems to get neglected...our old faithful red Saturn Vue. It is currently ransacked. We live out of our car for the following months and I am so exhausted by the time I get home, instead of cleaning it out daily, I just pile the car up with more crap the next day.

I am not proud of the way we treat her and as a matter of fact it is embarrassing if anyone has to ride in my car. I always have to explain, "I live out of this thing, excuse the mess." I am so jealous of people with neat cars, and wonder how with kids, this is even possible.

Bobby is coaching Bryce's baseball team, Leah is in dance, I am still running PTA and try to fit in frequent trips to the gym. Not to mention most of our activities are on the opposite side of town from where we live so once I am gone for the day, I don't make trips back home to get the things I need. It gets pack up in the beginning of the day.

The usual can be found in my car all at once:

Baseball equipment for a team of 13: tee, helmets, gloves, bases

Bryce's baseball bag

Leah's dance shoes

Extra shoes for after dance

Extra clothes for "accidents"

Extra socks for the kids club at the gym (required)

Gym gloves

Ipod

Kleenex

Band aids

Snacks

Waters

PTA folders, money, papers, projects

Antibacterial gel

Old fast food cups and trash

Crumbs

Toys, toys and more toys

Books

DVD players and DVD's

Mail

Makeup

My purse

GPS system

Water bottle and comb to fix the kids hair

etc, etc, etc.....

Basically we use and abuse her but she has been such a great, functional car. We bring home lumber and our Christmas trees in her. I can load furniture in her for my various decorating projects. One day I am gonna get my act together and detail her and fine tune everything. She deserves it...

Penis Breast

Driving home today from the gym (yep, that's right, I'm back on that kick) Leah says, "Mom I want penis breast!"

I said, "WHAT??!?!??"

"I want penis breast!"

"Leah I can't understand what you are saying, "Penis breast?!"

"No, mom penis breast." She keeps saying it faster instead of clearer.

I am stumped until Bryce comes to the rescue. "Mom, she wants Panda Express!"

Leah confirms, "Yeah mom , penis breast."

Oh thank God!!!! I can manage some Panda Express.....

Digging for Gold

Why start the first blog of the new year off with a booger blog? Well, most of my days consist of just that, and so I wanted everyone to experience a piece of my life. For your enjoyment....

Before I had kids I remember looking at kids and thinking how cute they are. How their faces were so shiny and beautiful. Their voices so sweet and inquisitive. I now realize what goes into those beautiful shiny NON-BOOGER faces.

Hard boogies:

The kid may pick their own nose. I have caught both my kids doing this and have corrected them, by saying, "Get a tissue." Knowing full well, sometimes a tissue just isn't going to cut it. Sometimes, you can't clean properly without your finger. Gross I know, but it's a reality some of you are just going to have to face. A kid's nose is tiny and really the extra 1/8 of an inch tissue adds makes it impossible to really get those nasty things out. I have even caught our precious, delicate little girl.....dare I say...

eating one,

or two,

or who knows how many when I'm not looking. I tell her princesses don't eat those. What can you do? I think all kids must do this at some point...right? How else would I know what they taste like? And I swear I don't remember eating nor do I eat boogers, but I know they taste salty...go figure! When you are going out in public, you may find yourself, as a parent, going in to dig out the nastiness yourself. You don't have another option. Have the gross dirty nosed kid, or dig and clean 'em up. I'm sorry, it isn't pretty but it's parenting at it's finest!

Runny boogies:

This is annoying!! The noses run like faucets and the kids just lick their top lip like it's sugar dripping down. You can have them blow and blow their nose until they have dry skin, but it will still run. When they are infants they send you home with that sucker thingy. Really, so gross! And then you have to get the boogers out of that thing. And what if you are out and don't have any tissue near by? I have gotten creative and used receipts, taken off a sock, even used the inside of my kids or my own shirt. Sometimes you just get desperate! Bryce has pretty bad allergies, and will on an average of twice a week, sneeze! Real bad!! He leans his whole body over and the nasty booger just hangs from his nose mid air. The trick is to run and get a tissue before it falls. I'm telling you I have a very luxurious life!

Morning Boogies:

So these are pretty serious and can cause scarring, if not removed properly. This category includes, eye and nose boogers. After sleeping preciously all night, like those beautiful kids do, boogers get really caked on their faces. Like, ridiculously caked on! If you attempt to go at this dry...like with a normal tissue either severe redness or bleeding may occur. The only way to get these stubborn ones is to soak the kids in warm water, get a warm washcloth or if you are mean or in a hurry, a cold wipe will do the trick.

Point of the story is, if you see a cute, little, darling kid with a beautiful face, it's because someone got up into their nose and made sure it was clean. They don't come with a self-cleaning option on kid noses, although whoever invents that will be rich.

Happy New Year and hear is to my kids' beautiful clean faces, and them growing closer to another year that will make them capable of cleaning it out themselves....

without eating them afterwards!

I was going to post a booger picture, but I must be doing my job pretty well, because I couldn't find one! Enjoy their shiny, beautiful faces, the reason I wanted kids in the first place!

Oh, What a Year!

He Sees You when You're Sleeping

Parents, it is that time of year again when we get an extra parental aid. And I know I'm not the only one using this method of threatening. Every store you are in, you will hear a parent saying, "Be good because Santa is coming" or "Santa's watching you so behave" or "We aren't going to get that right now, because you don't know what Santa is going to bring you." And just like that, the child remains calm with hopes that Santa can see this good behavior too!

With my kids, I had to take this threat a step further because my kids may be on to me. Bryce says, "How can he watch all the kids everywhere, ALL over the world?" Good question! You know there is no such thing as a dumb question? Well, I'm not going to let a little half link out smart me. Think fast think fast.....

"You see these camera's in the store?" I point to the black dome shaped camera on the ceiling. It's genius. They are everywhere! Bryce says yes then asks, "Santa's in there?" I say, " No, he records people in stores to make sure they are behaving and then the elves review the tapes and only shows him the bad ones."

"Oh I see," says Bryce. He's buying it, he's buying it! I then tell him to wave up at the cameras, so he does. Whenever we are in a store they find the cameras and wave to Santa. It works great for distracting them from EVERY toy they want in the stores too. I tell them to hold it up to the camera and say, "Santa, this is what I want." They do this too. I love to see people's reactions as they pass by and my kids are holding up a toy in the sky explaining to Santa their need for it. Sometimes you have to get really creative.

Then there was an issue about Santa seeing us when we are at home. How does he see us? Another wonderful question! Think fast, think fast....

"You see all these plug-ins? The little circle in the middle is actually a camera too!" SCORE! These are everywhere too! The kids wave to the hole. Now I have all areas covered for this operation scare the kids straight.

It is so much work keeping this up! I have to get more and more creative to threaten them properly. Then after all this work, Bryce comes home the other day and is taking pictures, on his own digital camera, of everything Santa in our house. I ask him why he is doing this. He tells me that his friend told him Santa isn't real. Bryce argued and the friend told him to prove it with a picture. Whoever wins the Santa bet has to say out loud, "Santa is REAL," or "Santa isn't REAL." This kid is ruining my genius plan! His mom must have been NOT so creative at lying!

I'm going to keep this up as long as I can to have pleasant shopping experiences with the kids. It will either make them really appreciative one day or totally freaked out that Santa can see them EVERYWHERE! I would be really creeped out if that was true.

Enjoy the Holidays everyone, and remember Santa is ALWAYS watching....

Christmas Cheer Delivered

I have been the PTA president at my son's school for two years now. Bryce has only been in school for two years, so basically once they tricked me into this position, they may have me for life. Sometimes PTA is just super annoying. There are more meetings than I thought, more organizing, more time and lots more time. The school didn't really have a PTA for a couple years before I got there, so we have had some work to do, but we all got the ball rolling again.

When I am complaining or telling people I'm off to a PTA meeting, they often reply that I am nuts for joining, let alone being president. I have also known for a long time: I AM NUTS!! The thing is- I always say how important kids are, why doesn't someone do this for our kids, the kids are our future, blah, blah, blah and blah. You get it. The truth is, I feel like I have to or no one else will, and even though it is annoying at times, it is rewarding and necessary. Sometimes I even think about quiting, thinking why are there only a handful of parents for a school with 700 kids? If they don't care, why should I?

Well the answer came today. And every now and then I need reminders of why PTA is so important. A warm fuzzy creeped in.

We decided to have a food drive for a couple of our families in need for the holidays. Our school really came together and collected a ton a food for these families. AWWWW! But it gets even more chicken soupish.

There is a family that stays at a homeless shelter. They are not sure if they will get in every night because it is on a day to day basis. So every day after school they go and wait to see if they can. It is a dad with his two kids. Since they do not have access to a kitchen a food basket would have been pointless. Instead, Denny's donated gift cards for them and then we bought them a gift card for the family to see a movie on Christmas.

Our treasurer usually handles most of the affairs, since she works at the school, but today I got to hand the father our contribution to their holiday. He was so happy, so gracious and a little embarrassed. I shook his hand and told him that this was for his family to enjoy on the holidays. He thanks me and you can tell how grateful he is. He tells me that this is so wonderful and it is the only thing they will be getting for Christmas. I feel so humbled and happy to have the opportunity to brighten some one's holiday. It really meant so much to them...and me!

As I walked away, I couldn't help but cry. All day I thought about that encounter. When I now say I am blessed to have the family I do, it has a whole new meaning. We are so big and so tight-knit, we would never be in that situation. I have never thought about what a security that is. If you are a part of my family, you can sleep on my couch forever if you needed to, and I know that I have my choice of couches as well. I was naive to think that everyone had a family capable of taking care of them.

It's easy, especially during the holidays to wish for more money. Money for gifts, money for your tree, money for your Christmas cards and postage, money for gift wrap, money for work parties, etc., etc. When I think about my life, I realize how truly blessed we are to have the job my husband has. We do all these Christmas traditions without even thinking. Totally take it for granted. We go out to eat at least once a week and don't even think twice about the money. This family was so happy to going to get to go out to Denny's, something we get to do often. Wow, my perspective just changed completely.

I know it sounds cliche, but when you volunteer, it really does make you feel good. Not good because it can give you perspective on your own life, although it certainly does. But good because had I quit, had I not been president, there would be a family on Christmas without a good meal and a fun feeling. We did that! We made some one's life better and there is no way I want to quit now. It was a moment where I didn't care why this man was homeless, no family should go without a little Christmas cheer.

GO SUMMERWIND PTA!!

This is Getting Old

I have never had great skin. I guess it's genes, or hormones, or because I don't wash my makeup off at night or because it is just a bunch of bull! I don't think it's fair for a 27 year old to get blemishes. I think this is a mean trick. I couldn't wait to get older when I was in high school because of the false dream that I may have "great skin." Wrong!! This must be a funny joke to God. Well, I'm not really laughing anymore! Doesn't He know that He needs to give the teenagers the zits?



Will I be 45 still getting these blemishes?



The Proactive commercials are just so tempting. All their celebrity endoresemnts, their before and after pictures really makes me excited about great skin. Then I'm too lazy to go and get my credit card out of my purse! I guess I may just be too lazy to get great skin. For a while I was washing my face at night. But it got old. I was tired and wanted to go to bed. By the time I splashed my whole face with water and soap, I was wide awake for another hour. So instead, I manage the blemishes and complain.



Sometimes I get one giant blemish! I cover it with makeup and more makeup and more makeup. It only looks worse, like a big mountain caked with skin colored goop. So I wash the crap out of it, as if to make up for all the times I don't wash my face. It only dries the sucker out so much I have the worst dry spot on my face in history.



I almost want to make an announcement when I walk into a room or go to dinner.

Yes, go ahead and quickly glance at the spot that has taken residence on my face. Yes, I am a grown ass woman that still breaks out. Yes, I am aware this make-up may be making it look worse. No, I have not named it yet!


Recently I was walking through the mall and behold!! I see this:

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!! A Proactive Vending Machine. It's as easy as getting gum?!

Now my first thought, is of excitement! So easy to get!! My second thought was if I was to stand here in the middle of the mall and start the buy process, I am pretty sure someone from high school would walk by and try to make small talk while I'm trying to purchase some zit cream. How embarrassing! Worst idea EVER! It would probably one of the girls with "good skin " too. Nothing could be more embarrassing, except maybe buying condoms and running into your parents or something.

I guess I will just keep managing these horrid blemishes, praying about them and reminding God I'm not 16 anymore, and continue not washing my face at night. I will just be a walking- before ad for proactive! Maybe when I am like 90, I will have good skin, or it will be so wrinkled it won't matter anyway...