Who ever smelled it, dealt it!

We went for a car ride today to return some red box movies we rented (if you haven't seen or heard of this vending machine movie rental thing, it is pretty cool). Anyway, Bobby jumped out of the car to return the movies, while I waited in the car with the kids. I heard a noise from the back seat and asked, "Leah, did you fart?"

She says, "No Mom, did you fart?"

I, of course say, "NO!"

To the upset of my stomach, I just don't do this type of thing, even in extreme pain, I just can't. If I do, it is only because the circumstances are right, which means alone, in a bathroom, with no one home or because I am dying. It is so sad I'm this way and wish I wasn't because it hurts to not be able to do "it". It started when I was young. Growing up with three brothers meant I was in the middle of a nuclear gas war almost every night. I hated everything about farts...the fact my brothers were sooo amused by them and because I am scent sensitive and repulsed by the smell. My hatred for farts reached all new heights when I happened to pass the natural thing called gas, in front of my brothers. I must have been around six at the time. They made fun of me so bad and I was so embarrassed, I never wanted to do it again!

People ask me if I fart (even typing the word is hard for me) in front of Bobby, NO WAY! I have often thought about how funny it would be if I could just do it, because I know we would laugh so hard about it, but I can't even force this humor out! Bobby, on the other hand, has the same tolerance and amusement my brothers have. He has taught Bryce the whole, "Pull my finger" bit, and trust me, I rolled my eyes at that one!

Bobby is now done returning the movies and returns to the car.

"Daddy, Mom farted!" This is the first thing out of my daughter's mouth. Bobby is busting up and accusing ME of farting. Now, even though this was lie, it was well played by Leah, who I am positive was the real culprit. It doesn't really matter if I defend myself at this point, because the more you defend yourself the more guilty you look. Bobby I'm sure is thinking, "Haha, she said she never farts, but she does!"

Thank God for my little mama's boy. He came to my rescue and said, "No, Mom didn't fart you did, stop lying!" With all the laughing and debating, Leah gets the audience she needs to repeat, "Mom farted!"

I only hope she doesn't want to get this reaction in the grocery line or something. Can you imagine how embarassing it would be if she started saying that all the time? I wouldn't put it past her, she likes the response she got! Hopefully no more farting blogs after this one.