Don't Let Life Get in the Way

Yesterday marked our 9Th year of marriage! We decided to celebrate by waking up really early and doing yard work. I know, doesn't sound too excited, but we really love home improvement projects and well, I have created a BIG one for Bobby this time. Our whole front yard is currently tore up! After the sun was in full force we decided to quit and enjoy the rest of the day doing what we usually do...hang out with our little kiddos.

A couple of days back I was telling the kids about our anniversary and what it meant. We were also going to ship them out of the house that night to Grandma's so we could have some alone time so I was telling them why. The kids were excited about our anniversary and were looking at our wedding pictures. I showed Leah my wedding dress for the first time and she tried on my veil. Very cute! We decided our anniversay would be a good day to show the kids our wedding video and relive the day that brought us to this point.

The kids loved seeing everyone, although it was hard to recognize some people as they were thinner, tanner and younger back then. My grandpa was in the video and it was important for me to see him there enjoying such a great time in my life, as he has passed since then. It really was an amazing day. Everyone we loved was there and everything just seemed so youthful and hopeful. I was only a month out of high school and so many of my classmates attended. Our wedding was essentially a big party with dancing and 2 kegs! All and all, I was either crying or laughing throughout the whole video.

As we watched the video, I was paying close attention to the words that were spoken at the church and during the speeches. On the actual day, everything gets blurred and I love that we have the video to go back and remember and to show our kids.

My favorite thing said was from my dad. I have always remembered the gist of what he was telling us, and have even tried to recreate what he said at other weddings. You know when they ask for everyone to give the new couple advice. I hate that part and I have never been able to say it quite as simply and eloquently as my dad did that day.

During his speech, he made Bobby and I stand up and face each other. He made us give each other a kiss and then said, "Remember the way you feel at this very moment. Don't let life get in the way. Always go back to this feeling and everything else will work out."

Perhaps at the time, those words didn't make sense. Don't let life get in the way. Like I said, we were young and hopeful and it was the most wonderful day of our life. What could get in the way?....

Funny how those words ring more true now. After two kids, the troubles of selling a house, living with our parents, Bobby working long hours, a miscarriage, mortgages, bills, life hasn't gotten in the way of the way we felt that day. Even after 9 years of marriage, my heart will still skip a beat when I hear the garage door open when Bobby has gotten home from working all day.

I have been told often times that I am "lucky" to have found Bobby and have everything workout. I have been told that 1/2 the marriages will fail and the other half are miserable. Some people rush to get married or get married for the wrong reasons. I never know quite how to respond to these comments. I want to defend marriage and the way I feel about it. I am not sure if perhaps, we are lucky? It has taken many years of fine-tuning to get to this point in our lives, but then again is it really any different of a feeling than the day we got married? Not really, maybe even better.

The truth is, I am happily married and if I had to do it all over again I would. Anytime we know someone who is going through a divorce Bobby and I talk about why that happened. Could they not rekindle the way they felt at that moment? Our only conclusion would be that on our wedding day we had no doubts. As young and naive as I was, I didn't have ANY doubts about my happiness with Bobby. And he has told me he felt the same. It was a feeling that no matter what life threw at us, we would make it better together than apart. It may have been that we were just that young and dumb, not to realize that life gets hard and things could, in fact, get in the way. Kids are going to throw tantrums and cry in the middle of our "happy" vacations, bills would mount up, some things were not going to go according to plan, but we wouldn't let it get in the way. Maybe when happily ever after doesn't happen, it is because those doubts were there from the beginning. I don't know, just a theory...

I am not sure if it is just luck, or fate, or foolishness, that makes what we have work. I'd like to think it was that when we said "I DO" there wasn't a doubt about what that meant. We were too young to understand what life had in store for us, but we did understand that we wouldn't life get in the way....