I have been thinking about this topic now for a long time and am still unsure how I feel about the subject of cosmetic surgery. I have been working out pretty consistently for the past 6 weeks and still have those dreaded pounds I want to shed. Oh how tempting it is to get a little lipo here and a little lipo there. Then I could instantly feel better about myself...right? Not Exactly!
There is a point made in this debate "Do whatever makes you feel better about yourself." What women need to ask themselves is, "Are we really doing these procedures to make ourselves happy or will it just make us happy that we are now more desirable to the opposite sex?" There is a lot of pressure we put on ourselves and men put on us to look a certain way.
My husband (yes he is one of the best) is completely against me cutting my body open. He thinks I'm fine the way I am and any time I mention liposuction or a breast lift he is dead against it. I realize not all husbands are this way. I have heard men say," The new fun bags will be fun for me too!" I mean...this woman just had YOUR kids and this is the response she gets. Could you imagine if women had the same etiquette. At a dinner out with friends she said," Well, sure honey it will be painful to cut your penis and lengthen it, but it sure will be more fun for me." Men of course, couldn't handle that kind of talk or humiliation. They get to cover up their length with baggy shorts. Women wear their chest size on display. What if her husband would instead insist she is fine the way she is? Would she still feel inadequate and want to fix her body evasively by cutting it apart?
Many women will say that we are all competing with each other. We have gotten to a point where we try to one up the other gal. Why is this again...? Oh yeah, to get the most attention from the opposite sex. I read a quote once "If it weren't for men, women would all be fat and happy." Maybe there is some truth to that. I feel the pressure to try and look my best FOR Bobby. Although he doesn't put the pressure there, he works at a gym and I don't want the boss' wife to look like a slob. I want to look good so that he can feel proud about calling me his wife. But would I go to the extreme of cutting?
I understand the hypocrisy if I do take a stand and say I am against cosmetic surgery. After all, I am not against wearing makeup, waxing my eyebrows or painting my nails. How is cutting any different? These minor things are all done to make myself look pretty or feel better. Bobby likes my nails painted, so I keep them well manicured. What if he wanted me to have a different body? Would it be any different than painting my nails or shaving my legs? I guess the only difference I can see it that surgery is so drastic and where do you draw the line?
I have often thought that other cultures would look at Americans like freaks if they knew the extent we went through to "look good." To get the answers I am looking for I look to nature and what naturally occurs there. So take a tribe, for example. They do not have these outside forces, airbrushed images to compare. After the women have the babies they walk freely around with their boobs sagging, and the men don't seem to mind. It is NORMAL and NATURAL. They don't have Victoria Secret Angels to compare their boobs to. And so it is unheard of, not even a thought in there mind to alter their bodies in that way. My mom brought up a good point though. They find beauty in different things. You may find tribe women that will stretch their necks because it is considered more beautiful. There is different definitions of beauty, there is different torture treatments to look good. In nature, we all want to attract the opposite sex, at whatever cost. Even animals will broaden their chests and let off scents to attract the opposite sex.
Why is it we don't feel like we are enough? Is it the images in magazines and TV? Why are we trying to live up to these images? Which in itself seems impossible. If we are comparing ourselves to people who have had work and holding ourselves up to this false state of reality, of course we are going to feel bad about ourselves. How are we to know who has been nipped and tucked? They should have to wear a shirt or tattoo that says, "Don't feel bad...I had them done!"
Seriously though...it is hard to just be content with how you look. I would be lying to say I don't have major insecurities about my weight. And most girls I talk to have body image issues, which is so sad. You can look at a girl in the best shape and she will still find something wrong with herself. This scares me, especially because I have a daughter. I think about my self image issues and do not want her to ever struggle with hers.
If we put it in terms of our daughters and what we wish for them I think the answer becomes clear. We would never want them to not feel like what they have is not enough. I don't want her sense of self to be wrapped up in her image. But how do you stop it and protect her from this feeling when it seems every girl has these issues? I think the main reason I wouldn't want surgery would be because of the message it would send to Leah. I NEVER want her to feel like cutting herself open is an acceptable way to gain confidence. I am so jealous of girls with great self esteem, regardless of weight or body type. I want to pick their brain and see how they got there so I can make sure Leah feels that way.
The point is, many women feel great after having something done. They are more confident, they get the attention they want and their attitudes change. I am NOT against people feeling better. And that is where I am torn. I know it makes them feel better and more confident but is there a way to feel satisfied without it?
Maybe my situation is easier. I have the big breasts girls often cut themselves open at the nipple, armpit or under their breast to get. I can workout to better shape my body and I'm getting healthier as I do it. But what if I didn't have the fun bags? What if exercise couldn't get me to where I wanted to be. Medicine is so advanced women can have what they long for and why is that bad? I am not going to go to the extreme and not shave or paint my nails because that would be the most natural state. I like doing those things for myself and because it makes my mate more attracted to me. Maybe it isn't so bad, but then again I don't want my daughter to go get work done when she is old enough.
I guess until I decide if cosmetic surgery is the devil or the best thing ever I will keep by butt in the gym with hopes it shrinks to the point where I can be happy with it...
There is a point made in this debate "Do whatever makes you feel better about yourself." What women need to ask themselves is, "Are we really doing these procedures to make ourselves happy or will it just make us happy that we are now more desirable to the opposite sex?" There is a lot of pressure we put on ourselves and men put on us to look a certain way.
My husband (yes he is one of the best) is completely against me cutting my body open. He thinks I'm fine the way I am and any time I mention liposuction or a breast lift he is dead against it. I realize not all husbands are this way. I have heard men say," The new fun bags will be fun for me too!" I mean...this woman just had YOUR kids and this is the response she gets. Could you imagine if women had the same etiquette. At a dinner out with friends she said," Well, sure honey it will be painful to cut your penis and lengthen it, but it sure will be more fun for me." Men of course, couldn't handle that kind of talk or humiliation. They get to cover up their length with baggy shorts. Women wear their chest size on display. What if her husband would instead insist she is fine the way she is? Would she still feel inadequate and want to fix her body evasively by cutting it apart?
Many women will say that we are all competing with each other. We have gotten to a point where we try to one up the other gal. Why is this again...? Oh yeah, to get the most attention from the opposite sex. I read a quote once "If it weren't for men, women would all be fat and happy." Maybe there is some truth to that. I feel the pressure to try and look my best FOR Bobby. Although he doesn't put the pressure there, he works at a gym and I don't want the boss' wife to look like a slob. I want to look good so that he can feel proud about calling me his wife. But would I go to the extreme of cutting?
I understand the hypocrisy if I do take a stand and say I am against cosmetic surgery. After all, I am not against wearing makeup, waxing my eyebrows or painting my nails. How is cutting any different? These minor things are all done to make myself look pretty or feel better. Bobby likes my nails painted, so I keep them well manicured. What if he wanted me to have a different body? Would it be any different than painting my nails or shaving my legs? I guess the only difference I can see it that surgery is so drastic and where do you draw the line?
I have often thought that other cultures would look at Americans like freaks if they knew the extent we went through to "look good." To get the answers I am looking for I look to nature and what naturally occurs there. So take a tribe, for example. They do not have these outside forces, airbrushed images to compare. After the women have the babies they walk freely around with their boobs sagging, and the men don't seem to mind. It is NORMAL and NATURAL. They don't have Victoria Secret Angels to compare their boobs to. And so it is unheard of, not even a thought in there mind to alter their bodies in that way. My mom brought up a good point though. They find beauty in different things. You may find tribe women that will stretch their necks because it is considered more beautiful. There is different definitions of beauty, there is different torture treatments to look good. In nature, we all want to attract the opposite sex, at whatever cost. Even animals will broaden their chests and let off scents to attract the opposite sex.
Why is it we don't feel like we are enough? Is it the images in magazines and TV? Why are we trying to live up to these images? Which in itself seems impossible. If we are comparing ourselves to people who have had work and holding ourselves up to this false state of reality, of course we are going to feel bad about ourselves. How are we to know who has been nipped and tucked? They should have to wear a shirt or tattoo that says, "Don't feel bad...I had them done!"
Seriously though...it is hard to just be content with how you look. I would be lying to say I don't have major insecurities about my weight. And most girls I talk to have body image issues, which is so sad. You can look at a girl in the best shape and she will still find something wrong with herself. This scares me, especially because I have a daughter. I think about my self image issues and do not want her to ever struggle with hers.
If we put it in terms of our daughters and what we wish for them I think the answer becomes clear. We would never want them to not feel like what they have is not enough. I don't want her sense of self to be wrapped up in her image. But how do you stop it and protect her from this feeling when it seems every girl has these issues? I think the main reason I wouldn't want surgery would be because of the message it would send to Leah. I NEVER want her to feel like cutting herself open is an acceptable way to gain confidence. I am so jealous of girls with great self esteem, regardless of weight or body type. I want to pick their brain and see how they got there so I can make sure Leah feels that way.
The point is, many women feel great after having something done. They are more confident, they get the attention they want and their attitudes change. I am NOT against people feeling better. And that is where I am torn. I know it makes them feel better and more confident but is there a way to feel satisfied without it?
Maybe my situation is easier. I have the big breasts girls often cut themselves open at the nipple, armpit or under their breast to get. I can workout to better shape my body and I'm getting healthier as I do it. But what if I didn't have the fun bags? What if exercise couldn't get me to where I wanted to be. Medicine is so advanced women can have what they long for and why is that bad? I am not going to go to the extreme and not shave or paint my nails because that would be the most natural state. I like doing those things for myself and because it makes my mate more attracted to me. Maybe it isn't so bad, but then again I don't want my daughter to go get work done when she is old enough.
I guess until I decide if cosmetic surgery is the devil or the best thing ever I will keep by butt in the gym with hopes it shrinks to the point where I can be happy with it...
1 comment:
Hey Jenny-
I just read your blog. And I totally understand all of your feelings. My fiance and I are trying to lose weight right now, more me than him. I joined Curves and am trying to eat right. He too says he loves me the way I am. But deep down, I always feel inadequate. I look at pictures taken when I firt started at Head Start. I was a fit 120 or so. Now I'm in the 150's and totally unhappy with how I look and feel. My family is concerned too because my dad died from heart disease and being big.
My fiance is against any form of cosmetic surgery as well. My mom had a face lift 2 years ago and I didn't think she needed it, but since my dad died, she had this urge to make her self look younger. She looks great now, and I always think she's been beautiful. Now she's thinking of getting a tummy tuck and I'm like, "Mom, you look great, nothing a few sit-ups won't help!" She weighs 130 something and I'm insanely jealous. My urgency to lose weight isn't only to look good for Scott, but to be healthy and ready for whenever I have children.
I guess all I can say is I am not 100% for surgery. Bobby loves you the way you are. Just keep working hard. You are SO gorgeous! All of your pictures are amazing and I would have never known you to be overweight to begin with! Even working with you you looked great. Just remember that you are special and God made you who you are for a reason. Do it naturally girly. If you need a walking buddy, let me know! Love ya and good luck with your decision making! Love ya!
Jill
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