Bobby took off this last weekend for his annual backpacking trip. Basically, he fishes and carries everything he needs in a backpack and poops in a hole. No thank you! I sort of dread this annual trip because truth be told, I don't like not having Bobby around. He already works many hours during the week and the weekends are our designated family time. This last weekend it was going to be just the kids and me.
To say I managed without him, would not be an accurate statement. I was miserable. And as much as I don't like to admit I am dependent on a man, I totally realize I am! And I don't want to change. Much props and admiration to my single moms out there who do it alone and have even come to like it! I don't like it one bit.
For starters my daughter had a severe allergic reaction while he was gone and had hives all over her body. It was horrible. We were back to the doctor's several times and I really wanted Bobby to be there, if for nothing besides support.
Then there are the nights that just seem so quiet when I am sleeping alone. Every noise makes me wake up and thinks someone is breaking in. I made the kids sleep in my room both nights because of all the scenarios I was creating in my head. If someone was to break in, I wasn't sure if I could grab both kids and escape effectively. Much faster to grab them both if they are laying next to me. Maybe I'm crazy, but I had to become the protector, a role I do not like. When Bobby is here, I know he'd take care of an intruder and help grab the kids. I don't even worry when he's here. It's so nice to realize the security I feel when he's around.
I realize that this makes me weak, the fact that I do not want to function when he's not here, but there has never been a point in my life when I didn't have a man to take out the garbage, protect me, comfort me and just make me feel safe. I went straight from my parents home to living with Bobby. Is this such a bad thing?!?!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment