Kids make you Worry Sick

We had a bit of a scare this morning. Bryce woke up crying of a headache. No fever. He has been somewhat congested this week, and on and off he has complained about a headache. I chalked it up to the stuffiness and treated accordingly. I tell him to crawl into bed with me and I start rubbing his head. This always helps me when I have a headache. He screams that the rubbing hurts. He continues to tell me it only hurts right on one side of his head.

Bryce is one tough kid! He doesn't usually cry if he gets hurt playing. He can be bleeding and I start to make a fuss over him and he is always like, "Mom, I'm fine, can I go play now?" I tell him we have to put a band aid to catch the blood at least! So, when he is crying and buckled over in excruciating pain, I know he is hurting. It concerned me because of the headache complains earlier that week and how he described the pain on only one side.

We call the doctor and they tell us to bring him to urgent care. I rush him over and he is crying the whole way there holding his head. I carry my 7 year old to the check in desk and tell them what is wrong. I ask if pediatric urgent care is open and they say not until 9. It's 7:30. Then they tell me I will probably be waiting that long anyway and maybe I should go home and come back when they open. I tell the lady I should have just called 911 or went straight to emergency because I am completely worried. Bryce is still crying and gripping his head. He starts to cough and I yell to the receptionist,, "You have something he can throw-up in?" She hands me the bag and Bryce vomits into the bag. I looked at her with the most worried look on my face and she called to the back.

"I have a little boy out here, headache, no head injury, clear vomit, no fever....it's pretty bad."

While I appreciate the hurriedness, the words "pretty bad" ring through my ears. What's that suppose to mean?

They buzz us back and we skip a two hour wait, I'm sure. The nurse takes his vitals and everything checks out fine. No fever, vitals are good. He is crying and the lady says to look at these happy and sad faces to describe the pain. "Is it this kind of hurt sad face or this one? On a scale of 1-10 where is your pain?" I am thinking, "Lady he is 7!! 7!!!! This chart is dumb." He looks at her through tears and sobs and says. 'I don't know it just hurts, OK?"

We get to the back and he vomits again. He is crying and holding his head hard with his hands. We are waiting for someone to come in and do something....anything....pretend this is an emergency on their part, because this is my baby boy. My first born and I know this is not normal.

Now I know medical professionals see people come and go, but I don't care. This is my kid and my heart. I love him more than I love myself. I hate throw up and I would throw up forever so he wouldn't have to. I'm starting to get pissed. Tears are coming to my eyes, but I need to stay calm for Bryce. I stroke his head and tell him to take deep breaths and crying will hurt his head more.

The nurse finally comes. It is probably only 5 minutes after we sat there but it felt like forever. She asks some questions and then says the doctor will be in shortly. I look at Bryce. I look at the nurse and go into what I like to call mom-mode. I am usually a push over and nice. If I order at a restaurant and a wrong order comes, I usually just eat it to not cause a scene. I look at her and say, "Is this going to take too long? Should I just take him to the ER at the hospital?" She assures me that he's already here and that he is in the right hands. She leaves. Too much time goes by again. Probably only a minute, but they should be supervising his every heart beat in my opinion. The nurse comes back gives him some pain killer. He immediately throws it up. I say, "You know he needs to be seen now and if I have to call 911 and have them come here to see this is an emergency, I will."

Whoa, go me! She rushes off to get the doctor. He comes in very fast and starts looking at his ears, asking questions. Putting a flashlight in his eyes. Bryce vomits again. The doctor tells me to take him to the hospital to get a CT scan and that he is going to put in the order.

We wait for the order. In the meantime the nurse comes in and says they are considering transporting him by ambulance. Then she tells me it may be faster if I drive him. I tell her I will drive him or do whatever is faster. Bryce vomits again. The nurse tells me next time to call 911 or go straight to ER because they are better equipped with everything there.

Great, I thought about doing that too, but called the advice nurse and was told it would be fine to bring him here. I feel awful that my judgement may have caused a delay in finding out what's wrong.

I zoom over to the hospital. On the way I update Bobby who stayed home to watch Leah. He says they are coming to meet us at the hospital. I wouldn't want to be stuck at home either. I felt better us all being together anyway. I tell him to just talk to me so I can stay calm. I can tell he is real worried too.

We get there. Bryce vomits. We check him in and they take him right back for his CT scan. I go with him and hold his hand. He's so nervous, I am too, but play it cool for him. I tell him it's a giant camera to take a picture of his brain. Before he gets to the CT scan he vomits again. They put him up there and he was so brave and good.

Seeing your kid get a CT scan and not knowing if something is wrong, is, well.....awful! My mind starts going to places I don't want it to go. I just want answers and a simple, fixable one. I start thinking about all the parents who get devastating news about their kids everyday. I thought about the St. Jude's commercials and how every time I see them I tell myself to donate and then forget. I scold myself in my brain for not doing so, and immediately think this is Karma. I know, crazy, but that's where my mind goes. I pray to God that he lets this be something fixable. I beg for Him to just make him better. I seriously don't know how parents with sick kids can do it. I hope God knows I am no good at it and decides he will be fine.

The lady doing the CT scan said it was better we went to Kaiser first, then there, so we didn't have to wait in the ER. That made me feel better about our decision. The person at Kaiser said I should have gone to the ER first, the ER Person said I did the right thing by going to Kaiser first. Bottom line, either way we went, we may or may not have had to wait. Although the whole experience took less than 3 hours, start to finish. Not bad, but felt like eternity.

They say they will rush the scans to Kaiser and that we needed to go back there to talk with the doctor. We get in the car and he vomits again. I feel helpless. My eyes tear up but I just drive. His body is now weak from the vomit and his head is throbbing and he keeps saying how bad it hurts and he just wants it to stop.

We pull into Kaiser and the nurse calls. She asks if we are here and I say we just pulled in. She says OK the doctor needs to talk with you about the scans. My heart stopped beating for I believe 30 seconds. I don't know if I have ever been so nervous. The doctor gets on and says the CT scan shows a....

sinus infection.

Whew! That is totally treatable. Totally not an emergency. Totally awesome!

We go back in and they give him a pill for nausea and prescribe antibiotics and pain medicine for the headache. They say with sinus infections air can get trapped, on one or both sides and cause extreme pressure and pain. I was right all along....it was caused from congestion.

I am so thankful everything is OK. I was so concerned. I am thankful for the doctors and nurses and their speedy work. I guess they know what they are talking about afterall. I became the crazy mom with her kid ending up with a sinus infection, not a cancerous tumor, thank goodness! The fact they were moving so fast, made me more concerned, but also so thankful for the urgency. When your kid is the one hurt it is an emergency and seems like that should be the only thing that matters to everyone else, because it matters so much to you.

I wish my brain didn't go to the worst places. I wonder if everyone does that with the ones they love. It is scary to think about the possibilities. Thank God, he is alright! And to parents who care for sick kids everyday of their lives, my hat is off to you. And those words seem too simple to express my empathy. I made a donation to St. Jude's once we got home, just for good measure! You can too by going to thus website:

http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f87d4c2a71fca210VgnVCM1000001e0215acRCRD