"Making Cookies?"

When Bobby and I first got married we were concerned about what to say to people when they called and we were "busy" doing something else. I'm not sure why it even became a conversation since we could have decided not to answer the phone if we were "busy." Bobby got this bright idea that we could say we were "making cookies." It was more of a joke than anything. Anyway, I don't think we ever got any interrupting phone calls so we never had to use our metaphor. If you happened to call during the newlywed days and that's what we said...well, now you know what was really going on!

Why do I mention these blissful newlywed days? I was thinking about this the other day and how we really took those days for granted. When you are first married, without kids, those romantic moments will never be interrupted. We never had to say we're "making cookies." If you are newly married, free of kids, MARK MY WORDS....cherish this time, because once these little bundles of joy come along, there will be interruptions, without a doubt.

It isn't always easy going from mom mode to the baker of some hot, luscious cookies. It takes a good 20 minutes to unwind after the kids go to bed to switch modes. Even when all the ingredients are out there on the counter, it still may take a while to forget about the poop, boogers, toys, cleaning, bickering kids, dog pee, etc to get in the mood to make some cookies. Once you finally get all the ingredients mixed, it is awesome. You are a newlywed again and it feels good. REAL GOOD....until....

Knock, knock, knock!!

What the...? Damn! Complete halt to the cookie making. Expect this type of thing to happen at least a couple times a month.

How do you handle this? Well, not gracefully. You get up and throw some clothes on as quick as you possibly can and escort the little one back to their bed. Whatever the reason is for the interruption, you hurry to accommodate the kid. You want some milk...you got it!! Need to go pee....hurry up!! You wet your bed....we'll just throw a towel over it and go back to sleep!! You want to sleep in our bed...ummmm...no get back to your bed!! You lay by them, crossing your fingers they will fall back to sleep. When you think the coast is clear, you sneak out as quietly as possible back to your room. The whole way, tip-toeing, and swearing the floor doesn't creak like that during the day.

Then you rush to get back into the "oven" and man do you want the oven to still be warmed up. It takes a good couple minutes and some laughing to forget about the interruption and then, just like magic, all is going well.

Knock, knock, knock!!...."MOM!"

Oh yeah, I'm a mom too, not just a cookie baker!

You try to convince the kid to go back to their bed. Not. Gonna. Happen.
You decide it is better to improvise. Go ahead and sleep in our bed, we will just have to go downstairs!

This is why it is so important to leave your kids overnight sometimes, somewhere else. You are always on this heightened sense of alert. Waiting for the knock at the door to go and mess with the flow of things. It's good for moms to let the kids go and just bake...

The Spy Assistant is Watching You...

Okay! So I thought that this doesn't happen until much later...but apparently I have no other choice than to deal with it now....

Leah and our good friend Cody, have been friends since birth. Katie and I are BFF's and so we get together a lot with the kids and let them play while we gossip and laugh. It all works out great to pass time. Usually, the kids leave us alone and play, so we don't have to do much but break up the occasional squabble over a toy.

We always joke that Cody and Leah are going to get married. They have always had this love/hate relationship. They love and protect each other but fight like an old married couple. It is too cute to listen to them talk. It usually goes something like this:

Leah: "I'm mad, why aren't you playing with me?"

Cody: "I already told you I don't want to!"

Leah: "But I want to talk with you."

Cody: "NO!!"

Leah: "Yes!"

At some point Katie and I made a big fuss over how cute they are and about them being boyfriend and girlfriend. Looking back maybe we shouldn't have encouraged it as much as we did, but it seemed innocent enough. Pretty soon they were calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. It's so cute! You can ask Leah and she will say Cody is her boyfriend. Cody is protective of her when other kids aren't being nice. He will tell them to be nice to his girlfriend. It is all so amusing and cute, until.....

This boyfriend and girlfriend decided to take their relationship to the next level and show each other their privates!!! Ya heard me!! They are three and showing each other the goodies.

The first time we discover this, we are calm and collective and do the distract and talk method.

"Those are your privates, we don't show our privates to people, let's pull up our pants and go color."

Worked pretty well, but you could see it in their eyes, the cat was out of the bag. And this cat was a curious one!!

I tell Bobby about this and he sort of freaks out. He pulls the, "weren't you watching her" card. I'm like, "No, this has never happened before and the whole point of a play date is for some free watching time."

I had taken a class in psychology and knew that this is a normal thing and is to be expected. The best thing to do is distract and talk. It isn't a sexual thing, more of a curiosity thing. Katie is also a bit concerned and does some research and finds it is normal. So we rest easy thinking it is normal and we are going to have to keep a more watchful eye on our little lovebirds.

We end up walking in on them naked, let's just say, a "few" more times!! We don't even know what to do besides distract and talk. Bobby has a talk with Leah about her privates and she nods and says (just like every girl says to their dads), "OK Dad!" Knowing full well this isn't the last time she will be showing off her goodies!

The last time we catch them, they have the door closed and have this huge smirk on their faces. We decide to sit them down and talk about it. Cody and Leah are snuggled up next to each other on the couch and we tell them, "No more showing privates!"

And you know what they say right after one another....

Cody: "Well, she is my girlfriend!"

Leah: "And yeah....he is my boyfriend!"

I mean, how do they know what to say? We are speechless and keep repeating that privates are just for themselves and not for other people to see. We explain that they have different ones and aren't suppose to see the other ones. They keep repeating the bit about being boyfriend and girlfriend until I say, "Well then you can't see other privates until you are married!"

Cody then tells Leah, "Leah no more privates until we are married." She agrees with their new vow of celibacy.

Bobby mentioned to me a long time ago that he had heard someone tell their son that if the daughter graduated high school a virgin, he would buy the son a car. Bobby told me that he is also going to use this bribe for Bryce so he can keep a watchful eye on Leah when we aren't around. It's just a joke, really, but now I'm thinking it may be a good idea.

After the talk Bobby asks Bryce why he didn't come tell us Leah was pulling down her pants. He said he didn't know he should. He has a thing about being a tattletale. We tell him, he is to tell us when this is happening to protect Leah. He says, "Oh, like I get to be your spy assistant?!"

Exactly, you are our spy assistant!! He proudly holds this title and is now reporting to us frequently. Bryce, that car is yours in 15 short years!!! I thought this wouldn't be an issue until much...

much...

much...

much...

Later!!

Men: Take a Lesson from Bryce

So, as you have heard, I have been trying to workout with little results on the scale. It has been disappointing. Even though my measurements have been going down, if the scale doesn't move, I'm not happy. Yes, I am one of THOSE girls.

Anyway, Bryce came over while I was standing making dinner last night and wrapped his arms around my waist to hug me.

He said, "Mom!! You used to be this thin, "(holding out his arms about two feet apart), "and now you are this thin!" (His hands now one foot apart). I figured that he may have overheard me talking to Bobby about this and wanting my approval, paid me a compliment.

How smart of a kid is he to put it in terms of being thin. Most men may want to take a lesson in talking to women from him. Notice how he said thin to thinner, not fat to thin!

I say, "Really??!! Why do you think that is?"

He said, "I don't know but this part of you is really smaller!"

I say, "Well I have been trying to exercise..."

He says, "Maybe that's why, I don't really know, but I know you are smaller."

I'm not sure why he said it, because he knew I wanted to hear it or because he is very observant and noticed a change... but I'll take it!! It just might have been the motivation I need to keep going to the dreaded gym. I don't think I will EVER be a person who enjoys working out. I want the results but working out isn't fun for me. It is a chore, like doing the dishes or laundry. Yes, the end result may be clean clothes, but man is it a bitch to wash it and fold it. I am so jealous of people who are so happy and excited to be at the gym. I wonder if they were born this way, like they have a mutated gene or something.

Who knows...but Bryce is usually a pretty honest kid so I'm gonna believe it...I'm getting smaller!!

Party like a Rockstar!!

Happy 3rd Birthday Leah & Happy 6th Birthday Bryce!!!

It's no surprise that I have always been into party planning. In high school, I planned the pep rallies, noontime activities, proms, etc, etc. I just love taking a theme and running with it. Well since my high school glory days are over, my new job has been my kids' parties. I just love kid themes. They are soooo fun!! The kids' birthdays fall on the same week so I
get to use the excuse that it gets to be bigger since it is for two kids. This year I decided on a Rock theme since my kids have a true joy for music. The apple must not fall far from the tree because they totally were in it to win it from the start. They loved dressing up for their invites, picking out the decorations with me, and "helping" set up for the party. As everyone points out though, it is a lot of work and preparation. I hope in the end it is worth it and the kids enjoy themselves, more so than if we just had pin the tail (not that there is anything wrong with pin the tail). When it was all over, I think everyone, including the kids and myself had an awesome time. The kids and their friends dressed up. Some of the adults did too!! We had little guitars for every kid to play, 3 drum pinatas, a guitar cake, a fake tattoo parlor and a full concession stand. Bryce even had a real Mohawk (that came off the next day). The cleanup was pretty intense though. Maybe Bobby will be able to talk me out of having a big party next year....I don't know though...it is so tempting to throw a huge party where everyone has fun. I'll try to stay away from the party store for a year!!! No promises...stayed tuned next year to see what happens!

Nip/Tuck?

I have been thinking about this topic now for a long time and am still unsure how I feel about the subject of cosmetic surgery. I have been working out pretty consistently for the past 6 weeks and still have those dreaded pounds I want to shed. Oh how tempting it is to get a little lipo here and a little lipo there. Then I could instantly feel better about myself...right? Not Exactly!

There is a point made in this debate "Do whatever makes you feel better about yourself." What women need to ask themselves is, "Are we really doing these procedures to make ourselves happy or will it just make us happy that we are now more desirable to the opposite sex?" There is a lot of pressure we put on ourselves and men put on us to look a certain way.

My husband (yes he is one of the best) is completely against me cutting my body open. He thinks I'm fine the way I am and any time I mention liposuction or a breast lift he is dead against it. I realize not all husbands are this way. I have heard men say," The new fun bags will be fun for me too!" I mean...this woman just had YOUR kids and this is the response she gets. Could you imagine if women had the same etiquette. At a dinner out with friends she said," Well, sure honey it will be painful to cut your penis and lengthen it, but it sure will be more fun for me." Men of course, couldn't handle that kind of talk or humiliation. They get to cover up their length with baggy shorts. Women wear their chest size on display. What if her husband would instead insist she is fine the way she is? Would she still feel inadequate and want to fix her body evasively by cutting it apart?

Many women will say that we are all competing with each other. We have gotten to a point where we try to one up the other gal. Why is this again...? Oh yeah, to get the most attention from the opposite sex. I read a quote once "If it weren't for men, women would all be fat and happy." Maybe there is some truth to that. I feel the pressure to try and look my best FOR Bobby. Although he doesn't put the pressure there, he works at a gym and I don't want the boss' wife to look like a slob. I want to look good so that he can feel proud about calling me his wife. But would I go to the extreme of cutting?

I understand the hypocrisy if I do take a stand and say I am against cosmetic surgery. After all, I am not against wearing makeup, waxing my eyebrows or painting my nails. How is cutting any different? These minor things are all done to make myself look pretty or feel better. Bobby likes my nails painted, so I keep them well manicured. What if he wanted me to have a different body? Would it be any different than painting my nails or shaving my legs? I guess the only difference I can see it that surgery is so drastic and where do you draw the line?

I have often thought that other cultures would look at Americans like freaks if they knew the extent we went through to "look good." To get the answers I am looking for I look to nature and what naturally occurs there. So take a tribe, for example. They do not have these outside forces, airbrushed images to compare. After the women have the babies they walk freely around with their boobs sagging, and the men don't seem to mind. It is NORMAL and NATURAL. They don't have Victoria Secret Angels to compare their boobs to. And so it is unheard of, not even a thought in there mind to alter their bodies in that way. My mom brought up a good point though. They find beauty in different things. You may find tribe women that will stretch their necks because it is considered more beautiful. There is different definitions of beauty, there is different torture treatments to look good. In nature, we all want to attract the opposite sex, at whatever cost. Even animals will broaden their chests and let off scents to attract the opposite sex.

Why is it we don't feel like we are enough? Is it the images in magazines and TV? Why are we trying to live up to these images? Which in itself seems impossible. If we are comparing ourselves to people who have had work and holding ourselves up to this false state of reality, of course we are going to feel bad about ourselves. How are we to know who has been nipped and tucked? They should have to wear a shirt or tattoo that says, "Don't feel bad...I had them done!"

Seriously though...it is hard to just be content with how you look. I would be lying to say I don't have major insecurities about my weight. And most girls I talk to have body image issues, which is so sad. You can look at a girl in the best shape and she will still find something wrong with herself. This scares me, especially because I have a daughter. I think about my self image issues and do not want her to ever struggle with hers.

If we put it in terms of our daughters and what we wish for them I think the answer becomes clear. We would never want them to not feel like what they have is not enough. I don't want her sense of self to be wrapped up in her image. But how do you stop it and protect her from this feeling when it seems every girl has these issues? I think the main reason I wouldn't want surgery would be because of the message it would send to Leah. I NEVER want her to feel like cutting herself open is an acceptable way to gain confidence. I am so jealous of girls with great self esteem, regardless of weight or body type. I want to pick their brain and see how they got there so I can make sure Leah feels that way.

The point is, many women feel great after having something done. They are more confident, they get the attention they want and their attitudes change. I am NOT against people feeling better. And that is where I am torn. I know it makes them feel better and more confident but is there a way to feel satisfied without it?

Maybe my situation is easier. I have the big breasts girls often cut themselves open at the nipple, armpit or under their breast to get. I can workout to better shape my body and I'm getting healthier as I do it. But what if I didn't have the fun bags? What if exercise couldn't get me to where I wanted to be. Medicine is so advanced women can have what they long for and why is that bad? I am not going to go to the extreme and not shave or paint my nails because that would be the most natural state. I like doing those things for myself and because it makes my mate more attracted to me. Maybe it isn't so bad, but then again I don't want my daughter to go get work done when she is old enough.

I guess until I decide if cosmetic surgery is the devil or the best thing ever I will keep by butt in the gym with hopes it shrinks to the point where I can be happy with it...