Words of Wisdom

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough, and we will be more content when they are. After that we are frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with, we will certainly be happy once they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is there is no better time to be happy than right now. Your life will always be filled with these challenges. It is best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. For a long time it seemed like life was about to begin- real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life will begin. At last it dawned on me, these obstacle are my life. So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday Morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until you are off welfare, until the first or the fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again only to decide that there is no better time to be happy than right now. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. ~Unknown Author

I've been diagnosed with SBS =/

I have been in a bit of a funk lately. Don't know what else to call it. But today I am deciding to pull myself out of it, because quite frankly, I'm getting irritated with myself!

I've heard we are entitled to these days, but I always end up feeling really guilty when I do. Why the heck have I been getting into these slumps? I'm going to go ahead and blame the shortage of time and money.

Then there are the annoying people who just advertise the good parts of their lives. You know the ones...every post on facebook is about how happy they are, how in love, a picture of the flowers they got, or how they have the best________ fill in the blank. I don't know...if it is ALL roses, people will see that it is by how you live your life, not by how many times you post and list every time something good happens. Maybe people have got lost in what true happiness is, and I'm afraid I got sucked into it too. Just waiting around for moments that are post worthy. We are so connected to this false sense of belonging, we forget to live for ourselves. So, that's the rant about that, hopefully I am not the only one to feel this way. Moving on to more ranting, because you know it will get me out of this funk and back into where I want to be...HAPPY =)

It is so hard to find a place where you can just accept where you are at in your life and be truly happy. I have been completely happy for lengths of time in my life before. I think this funk is caused by a case of the "Spoiled Brat syndrome" (SBS). That's what I am going to call it. I can be honest and say that the root of this evil is wanting too much, too quick. Loosing patience for the things that are not in my possession NOW! I mean what am I, a 2 year old?

Dear Santa (if you do exist),

I want concrete RV access. I want an RV. I want a covered patio. I want a new car. I want a new truck for my husband, who works so hard and by golly, deserves it! I want a new shiny, red washer and dryer. Oh yeah, a new oven and dishwasher to go with that. I want new clothes so I can be fashionable. I want to look AMAZING and be able to say I have good genes, not because I have to restrict my diet and exercise like a crazy person to fit into the jeans I want. Can I also have enough money for a mani/ pedi every week, and time to actually go and get one? I want money to invest and start a business.  I want to work so I can afford all this, but I want to stay home too. I want it all and not sacrifice too much to get it. By the way, I have been really good this year ; )

I never feel like we have enough time to get done what needs to get done. Clean the house, fold the laundry, PTA, hit goal, dishes, bathe the kids, workout, etc. I run around doing so much for everyone else, sometimes I forget to get done the things I really want to do. I need to get better at managing my time and my family's time. We need downtime too! Even if we had the money for all the projects I wanted to finish, we would not even have enough time to finish them. I have never been good at patience. I am working on it...

I never feel like we have enough money either. All those wants up there aren't going to happen unless there is much more income happening! Am I willing to go back to work to fulfill these materials wants...not really. So I need to find happiness without the new shiny stuff. =/ These faces are kind of annoying but somehow really get across a point, so I'm going to keep doing them, even though they irritate me a bit too. Add that to the list of annoying things I am going to keep doing!

After talking to myself for the last month and getting a lot of guidance from my husband, I am getting to the point where the only things that matter and are important and will contribute to my happiness are things I have already. I know so simple, so cliche, so hard to achieve at times.

The Jones' can have whatever pretty things they want to have, because I do have everything I could ever want or need. And when I stop comparing where we are at, and where other people are at, I am allowed to really enjoy the things that matter. Sometimes I have to remind myself to not get caught up. Which becomes increasingly hard around the holidays for some reason.

Bobby has noticed my little funk attitude, which has to suck for him. He works so hard to make us happy. Happy wife, happy life. He doesn't quite understand what changed (possibly hormones?) to cause this new funk. You know men...he offered solution after solution. I was irritated with all of them, naturally. He said if I want all those things to go to work. I was appalled. I mean really?! I like my stay-at-home mom role. Then I started to consider it. I really could bring in a good chunk of money. I tossed the idea around. But something didn't feel right. I wanted the things and didn't want to have to work harder than any mother has to work. Moms, I know you know that is A LOT of work. Men, if any of you are out there and actually READ blogs, SHUT UP! You couldn't do it if you tried ; ) I thought we agreed that I wouldn't work, so I was confused by the suggestion for me to work full time. I mean, I am pretty sure there is a paper route he can take up for us to get some useless, material sh*t. Totally joking, I am not that cold hearted of a B-word.

After several suggestions and solutions that only irritated my mood more, he said something that just made sense. He came to the conclusion that I needed to make myself happy. He said if I needed all those things to be happy, I needed to work full time. If I find happiness with where we are at, I should stay home and forget about all the new crap that doesn't matter anyhow. He was right...and don't you dare tell him! I know he doesn't read this ranting on here, so I will just admit it to you.

The confirmation came later that week. We had a parent teacher conference. Bryce got all A's and had one of the highest reading levels in his class. The teacher said he is excellent at following the rules. He is receiving a writing wizard award this next week. Although I know his quick understanding of things comes natural to him, I was proud. Even though it comes easy for him, he still had to be confident in himself, put in the hard work and know right from wrong. I would have been just as proud if it was all C's and he did his best. The fact of the matter is, that is all that matters. Later Bobby asked me if I had decided if I was going to work. I held up his report card and told him that this is all the paycheck I need. I could seriously buy a ton of happiness with that!

I think we are allowed to fall into these little funks. Realize we could be worse off, we could be better off. Doesn't matter. I had a reality check and am back to the happy old me. I think. Until that red washer comes for Christmas. I know Santa can hear me. I dream about getting it and posting a picture of it to facebook. It will read, "My new baby..." I really was praying my old washer would break down so I could by the new one. Then it started to be on the fritz and I was praying it would last until after the holidays. Now I just pray and thank God we even have a washer and a house over our heads. Perspective can change a lot.

HAPPY =) Holidays!!

Chicken Juice

Leah is my little helper in the kitchen. She usually drags a chair from the dining table and brings it to the counter to "help" me cook. I usually enjoy the gesture, but tonight I was annoyed....

It's been one of those weeks, and it's only Monday.

I am talking to my mom on the phone about this and that, and nothing too important. I look over to the sink where my little helper is sampling the food. I thought it was the cooked food, until a second glance revealed a different story...

After the second spoonful, I realize what is going on....

"Leah, are you drinking chicken juice?" I wanted to vomit. Seriously!

I defrosted the chicken on a plate in the microwave. I set the plate in the sink with the defrosted chicken juices on it. I turn away (for a few seconds) while talking to my mom, to turn around to Leah using a DIRTY spoon to shovel in DIRTY chicken juice from the plate in the sink.

WHO DOES THAT?!?!

I will wait now to see if she gets food poisoning....

Mr. Mom?

It is an on-going fight, er, I mean, conversation in our household about who has it harder. The stay-at-home mom or the dad who busts his butt at work. I will stand by my story that when raising toddlers and under, moms win- hands down. But all of a sudden there has been a turn of events and I will admit when I was wrong, or when all of a sudden, I stand corrected.

Now that the kids are a bit older and in school, I must say, staying at home has become somewhat of a luxury. Not to say there isn't hard moments, or moments you want to pull your hair out....but it seems easier. This is probably because of all the hard work I put into my kids for the first formative years. They are well oiled running machines now.

I must have made a pretty good case about my job being harder though. For a while there, I had Bobby convinced that mine was. He had witnessed one too many meltdowns and wondered how I stay sane. Patience is a virtue. I think I finally got this under control. I got the hang of it. Waiting out the tantrums, the crying, the fighting between siblings is all part of my everyday. That is why I may be done with having anymore...I GOT THIS, for the moment.

We go shopping on the weekends and I am like, "What the heck is up with all these crowds?" I must say shopping during the week has it's perks. My husband used to come home and ask how my day was. I would unwind and tell him about all the mishaps. Now when he asks me, I am like, "Everything was great! I worked out during the no-kid zone, had lunch with my best friend and got to wax my eyebrows with no sitter needed." He says sarcastically, "Wow, sounds like a rough day!"

Then he tells me about his day and I have to admit...it sounds awful. He has to manage adults that act like babies, and you don't even love them because they aren't your babies. You just have to deal with the whining and crying.

I have to admit, on this blog, not to his face that... he wins. I wouldn't trade! Not for a day or a week. He can stay at work and I will manage the home front.

Although the other day, in another discussion about who has a more challenging job, I think he declared me winner. Leah had a whining day. From the time she woke up till she went to bed, everything she said was in a fake cry voice, you know the one. Sounds like nails on a chalkboard. He was loosing his patience. I was calm and collected.

He looked at me and said, "I will trade you jobs and be a stay at home dad, just as soon as Leah graduates high school, no problem." Ummmm, I think that is called retirement.  



The Sock and the Shoe

I had to share this story because it is one of my favorite's from my childhood. When my brother started asking questions about erections (yeah, ya heard me right, erections) he asked my dad what was up. No pun intended. What happened next goes down in history as the best explanation for the birds and the bees EVER!

My dad sat us all around the living room. Why did we all need to hear this, and why together at the same time? I will never know...maybe to get it done all at once. So there we are, my three brothers and I. My dad proceeds to hold a sock up.....

"You see this sock right here?"

He picks up a shoe. And tries to put the sock into the shoe.

"See, when there is no foot in there to make it hard, it won't go into the hole...right?"

We all shake our heads yes, dying for this conversation to be over.

Then he puts his foot into the sock.

"See, now the sock is hard, and slides right into the shoe, understand?" He puts his foot into the shoe.

OMG, DAD!

We all shake our heads yes again and start busting up laughing.

This will forever go down in our house hold as the "sock and the shoe" talk instead of the birds and the bees. You may want to write it down so you can explain it to your boys that eloquently.

Bryce is 7!!!

On Saturday we celebrated Bryce turning 7. We had a small birthday day party at my moms, with swimming and family. Since both my kids have their birthdays in the same week, it has been one big celebration! And it keeps on going....

I really can't believe he is 7 already. The other night Bobby and I were watching him sleep and his arms were crossed at the top over his head. I whispered to Bobby, "That is the exact pose he slept in when he was a baby..." He is still the mellow, sweet mannered kid he has been since the day he was born. While these adorable characteristics don't change, a lot is.

He has a mouth full of baby and big teeth. He has the hugest gap between his front teeth, so he will either need braces or a miracle. I call this the awkward stage of kids. Their smiles are quirky, the attitudes are funky, as they discover what's funny. He is a noise making, high energy, imaginitive kid. I am so proud of this little boy! When he plays baseball, does well in school, or when he takes care of his sister (he buckles he into the car for me, which is a huge help), or watches out for his friends I want to scream, "That's my boy!"

Bobby and I talk about what it will be like when he is older. The possibilities are exciting, but I am having a blast enjoying this age and the independence he has....although I do cuddle the crap out of him at night because I know that won't last....

Happy Birthday Bryce-man!

I really hope that nickname sticks throughout high school ;)

Ms.Leah Turns 4

My Red Heels, man they grow up fast....

Today we celebrated Leah's 4Th birthday. She has entered out of toddler, and into young lady in a flash of an eye. Honestly, with the birth of Leah I had such a feeling of completeness. And that content feeling keeps growing as she gets older.

We woke to her telling us it is her birthday and that she is 4 now. Dad made her Minnie Mouse pancakes. As he is doing that, Bryce makes her a homemade card that says, "Happy Birthday Leah....You are nice and you are smart." Then I see him put something in it. I ask what it is and he shows me 5 bucks. I ask where he got it. He tells me he took it out of his piggy bank to give to her since her didn't buy her anything. It was so sweet, I almost cried. He has such a big heart!! That seemed to be her favorite present of the day because she held it and told everyone her brother gave it to her.

Bobby took the day off, which was so nice. Our household just runs so much smoother when all participants are home. After her dance class, we celebrated with her buddies with cupcakes. Then we hit up the water park in Palmdale. This facility is really nice and clean and uncrowded. We had a blast.

Now we are getting ready to BBQ and do a campfire to roast some smores. It was a birthday fit for our little princess. In two days we get to celebrate Bryce's 7Th birthday. Then next week we will have a small dessert/candy themed party for their buddies. Trying to keep it smaller this year ;) Just have to rent a champagne fountain for chocolate milk, yeah... I am so not going over board with this one!!

Loving August!!

Haha, I just told her to go upstairs and change out of her bathing suit. This is what she came down wearing....

Her birthday suit and just a crown, kinda how she came into the world...she really is a birthday princess!