When I Became a Mom...

Today is my 5Th year celebrating the joys of being a mom. I always wanted to be a mom even though I really had no concept of what that would really mean or how much work it is. I just didn't realize how constant it was. There is ALWAYS something to be tended to. Nails need to be cut, boogers need to be wiped, tears need to be made into smiles, etc, etc, etc...

I have to say, that even with all the gross duties that come with this territory, I love being a mom!!

It really has given me a different purpose. I consider myself intelligent and had big plans for my future. School came easy for me and I am passionate about a lot. I wasn't sure what direction I was headed in so I majored in business, figuring that information could be applied to anything I was going to do. I had this fire in my eye.....big things were going to happen...I could feel it!

Then I got pregnant. Life changed. My dreams changed. My body changed. I focused on being the best mom I could be. Bryce was born and I just had a new purpose that was different from the purpose I felt in college. I may get those dreams back one day, but my focus changed to my kids. You hear moms talk about sacrifice and giving up their dreams to give their children the best, but for me I didn't give up becoming something more career driven, I changed my idea of what success looked like.

I was proud of our little bundles from the first moment. Anything they do makes me beam with pride. I feel like they are such an extension of my dreams, only better. I want more for them than I want for myself. My success is measured by how happy my kids are.

Some people may argue that this is an unhealthy balance. That I should put myself first and should not have given up on a career. It is hard these days to know what the right thing to do is. Of course, more money would be nice if I was working full time but it isn't a necessity. Of course there are times I wonder if I should be working. There are times, when I'm worn from mothering all day I think what if....

I was complaining to my dad one day about how hard it was to stay home ALL day and just do the day-to-day grind. I said communicating with kids is so different than going to work all day and conversing with adults. My day consists of:

"Eat your vegetables"

"NO"

"Yes it will make you strong"

"But I don't wanna"

"You have to...or no dessert"

"That's OK...I don't want dessert anyway"

My dad said that it is probably more difficult for someone like me who just came from college, with open forums for debating important issues to be in a "Yes-No" war with a two year old everyday. These are the type of things I find challenging.

I have friends who work and are totally happy with that arrangement and some who wish they didn't have to work. I have friends who stay home and go stir crazy and others that love that role. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to approach motherhood. Everyone should do what is best for them or do what needs to be done to raise a family. I struggled with my decision, should I work or shouldn't I? I decided to stay home and decided when my kids are both of school age I would pursue something I was interested in. I didn't know if it was the right decision until the day Bryce started Kindergarten.

Some moms cry because it hits them that their babies aren't babies anymore. That wasn't it for me. For me, the first day of kindergarten reassured me that I made the right decision for us. It was the realization that he wasn't just my kid to mold anymore. For the last 5 years I had him mostly to myself from sun up to sun down, and now I would have to share him with teachers. The teachers would be around him more hours in the day then me. Perhaps the fact that they would have so much barring in his life made me feel fortunate to have had the time I did have with him for the first most formative years. I cried because the time we would have together would be less. Much less. For me the decision to stay home was right because it gave me the only time I would get to just be a mom and nothing else. That TIME with my kids is something I will always have and treasure.

I wrote these words soon after I had Leah and realized that I was right where I was supposed to be. It has much to say about staying at home and feeling content with the role of being a mom. Often times it is under appreciated or there isn't a value put on it. If you were a doctor or lawyer you would be considered successful or prestigious. Well, I think being a mom deserves the same thought, but often times it is viewed as a duty instead of valuable role in society. I can honestly say that being a mom has fulfilled me in a way a career wouldn't have.

When I Became a Mom I Became Everything

When I was a young girl I used to dream about being a famous person and having fans adore me. I became a mom and my kids turned out to be my biggest and most loyal fans.

I used to dream about becoming a teacher and making a difference in children’s lives. I became a mom and realized that everything I taught my children would make a difference in their lives and the lives that they would touch.

I used to dream about becoming a humanitarian and changing the world. I learned that all the compassion I showed my children would transcend into the world and make it a better place.

I wanted to be a five-star chef and make food that all could enjoy. I became a master at quick and bland foods that my children requested night after night.

I would dream about becoming a rock star and having a fun and crazy life. I found that nothing could be more fun and crazy than dancing to silly songs with my kids in the living room.

I used to dream about being a beautiful model with a toned body, flawless skin and fashionable clothes. I became a woman with a “little” excess weight, shower challenged, and wears whatever “looks” clean, but my children think I’m beautiful anyway.

I wanted to be a renowned photographer who captured beauty in the world. I became a mom with a camera who captured all the beauty my world possesses.

I could have been a nurse to help heal people. I have kissed and bandaged every wound my children have received.

I used to dream I’d become a cosmetologist and give people confidence. When I became a mom I had to give my children the self confidence they needed to face the world.

I dreamed I would become a lawyer and defend justice. I became a voice for my children when they could not defend themselves.

Before I had kids I used to dream I could become anything I wanted…..When I became a mom I became EVERYTHING!

Anyway...I know this blog is getting long but there is just so much to be said for being a mom on a day picked to celebrate what a mom is and does.

I admire my mom so much for having 4 kids in 5 years. I have learned so much about parenting from her. People always compliment me on how well my kids talk and I always have my mom to thank for that. When Bryce was first born she talked so much to him. Not goo-goo-gaga but pointed and said what things were. She would have full on conversations with him. I asked her why she did that and she said, "That's how they learn." I didn't know how to talk to a baby before that, but from that day on I didn't stop talking to my kids.

I admire Donna for the wonderful mom she is to her boys. The loyalty she has to them makes me understand why I feel unconditional to my kids. I also thank her for the reason Bobby is as nice as he is. Anyone I talk to says the same thing about her, "She is just soooo nice!"

Our grandma's are the best and remind me about how the good 'ol days are called that for a reason and a good home cook meal makes everyone feel good.

My friends who are moms teach me that there are different ways to parent and that the end result is great kids. I love that we have time to relate our mom stories and we can go to each other to express how proud or frustrated we are with our jobs as moms...

without judgement.

To all the good moms out there....HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! Keep up the good work!