My kids are just so darn smart, they invented a new word that makes sense. It is a contraction for I am not.
"Leah are you spilling?"
"I amn't!!"
"Bryce don't roll down your window!"
"I amn't!!"
...Just looked it up and it is actually an acceptable form of am not, although it did highlight during spell check. Mostly it is Scottish and Irish. Guess those lucky charms are affecting their speech!
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
THAT mom!
And I get it. My mom to this day can make me say, "Moo-om!" She can't order her food right, dress appropriately, or wear her hair right. Sometimes she wears Capri pants with socks and tennis shoes. Mooo-ooom, come on, get with it. When I was young, I hated going shopping with her. She would try on clothes in the middle of the store, over her other clothes. She would even tell us to try the clothes on this way. I remember wanting to die! Why couldn't we be like everyone else and go to the fitting rooms?
"We are in a hurry," she'd say. Oh, and like spending ten minutes trying on jeans over your other jeans saves tons of time! And how can you judge if it really fits anyway? Its like when she used to just hold them up to you. That NEVER worked! Yet, we never used a fitting room.
Awhile back I was in a parking lot dropping My BFF off at her car. I needed her approval on this sweater dress I bought before I wore it that night. Because sometimes you really need a second opinion. I had on a tight shirt and so I put it over the shirt and pulled down my jeans so she could get the effect better. Bryce whines from the car, "Moo----om! What are you doing? You can't change here in the parking lot."
OH MY GOD!! I thought....
I just became my mother.
Then there was another incident. We were lounging around the house a couple weekends ago. I was wearing what I call booty shorts and a tank top. Nothings too bad, I thought. I was saying we should go get ice cream together.
Bryce said, "Are you going to wear that?!"
I said, "What's wrong with this?" Although I had no intention of wearing it out. He should know I have better fashion sense than that!
He said, "Well, I can kinda see your butt and they are a little short."
Haha. I guess, I need to wear more clothing around the house because I have a little son who really does not want his eyes to hurt. I understand though. I used to see what my mom wore to bed and was like you have got to be kidding me! That moo-moo needs a slip! He is getting older, and I'm not really sure I'm prepared for this change. I guess I'm going to have to go flannel pants shopping, sorry Bobby!
There was only one other, embarrassing mom moment I can think of. Three ain't bad. I am still in the cool mom club...right?
Monday, March 8, 2010
Bryce Says the Darnest Things
Sometimes the stuff that falls out of Bryce's mouth really makes me laugh!
"I would rather punch myself in my own face, then eat this!" (referring to avocado after tasting it)
"Mom, I am really good at baseball, I once got a guy out at first."
"How many calories is this ice cream, like 2, or what?"
"Dear God, please make my sister stop annoying me!"
Me: "Why do you all your jeans have holes in the knees?" Bryce: "Cuz they are stupid and cheap."
"I'm saving up my money for a house, not cheap toys."
"I hate these skinny jeans, it's squishing my wiener, like all day!"
"I don't understand why I have to go to school to get smart, you already tell me I am, so it's pointless."
"I would rather punch myself in my own face, then eat this!" (referring to avocado after tasting it)
"Mom, I am really good at baseball, I once got a guy out at first."
"How many calories is this ice cream, like 2, or what?"
"Dear God, please make my sister stop annoying me!"
Me: "Why do you all your jeans have holes in the knees?" Bryce: "Cuz they are stupid and cheap."
"I'm saving up my money for a house, not cheap toys."
"I hate these skinny jeans, it's squishing my wiener, like all day!"
"I don't understand why I have to go to school to get smart, you already tell me I am, so it's pointless."
Friday, March 5, 2010
Hope Floats?
I have been struggling lately. Perhaps, I'm an over thinker but my whole outlook on life has been changing and not in the best way. While everything in my personal life is going awesome, my views on the outside world is not.
I used to be such a hopeful person who believed in change and faith in humanity. Not. So. Much. Anymore. And it is making me sad... how do I get hope back?
Politics, the news, my belief in good people is losing optimism. Maybe this new outlook comes with age. I have heard of the cynical old people versus the hopeful youth. Maybe turning 28 has crossed me to the cynical stage. At any rate, it seems like caring is something for fools. Let me try to explain...
I have always had an interest in government, the issues, voting, the whole you can make a difference. There seems to be just too much grey matter now, for me. It seems as though everyone is shouting at the top of their lungs for what they believe to be right, not hearing the other side; no compromise in sight. It is tiring to convince someone what you believe to be right. It seems impossible to reach a conclusion with such opposite sides of the spectrum. It's almost as if we live in two different countries with democratic and republican views. People say things only to offend half of their friends and get confirmation from the other half. Really?! The only way we feel validated is when we are preaching to the choir. How then, do we see any change without an understanding of the opposition? Not. Gonna. Happen.
Then there is me. Strong in my beliefs, but not so strong I can't see the other point. Then I start to think that this must be from a lack of conviction in my own thoughts, because everyone else seems so sure. How are they sure they know what is best for our country? From their couches, I'm sure the answers seem so simple. I imagine they feel the same way about our current president, as I felt about our last. We get to a point where we are fighting so hard for our own sides, both sides fail and cannot celebrate any victories or change to the current system.
Although I have not looked up current statistics to share, I can go from my own experiences and examples. And what are stats anyway?! We can all find evidence to support our views. But here is the confusion.
I know people who take advantage of our system. Find ways to lie and get all they can. No one wants to pay for these people, but they seem to be the ones who benefit the most from our busted system. I know people who would benefit from assistance from our government, but don't qualify because they are too honest. These are single moms who are going to school to make a better life for themselves, but somehow by exerting any effort for their future, can't qualify for food on their tables. These are the people who deserve our tax money, but don't qualify for it. So I believe that help is needed. I want to help. I want to pay taxes for people who need these programs. I believe in these programs, but the programs are failing to those who need the help and enabling those who are taking advantage. Big. Mess. No. Hope.
Watching the news is another doosey. You can do everything right in your own life and some a-hole can come and strip you of everything. Killings, rapes, child molesters....really?! Why is the world so ugly? And how do you stop it? I have no clue and am losing hope in the fact that someone may know how to fix it. I am losing hope that it can even be fixed.
I cried the other day. Wept more like. I was watching Leah sing and dance and my eyes just welled up with tears. An hour before this, the news reported finding Chelsea King's body. As I watched Leah, I imagined Chelsea's parents. How they must have done everything by the books and right. Loved their daughter, as I do mine. How they admired her, listened to her sing, much like the way Leah's voice sounded like the sweetest thing I have ever heard. How can it be that you do everything right and live your life loving, just the way you are intended to, and be robbed of that joy from someone who did this type of crime before? If I saw the man today, I'd shoot him myself.
So part of me wants to go on, living my life in this bubble we have created, that is comfortable and joyful and without heartache. I want to not care about politics and what is going on in the news because I feel like there is no hope to fix it anyway. But then I realize that by not being involved, by losing hope, by ignoring what is broken, by staying in my bubble I will still be effected by the outside world. I can be robbed of this joy the same way Chelsea's parents were.
I know this is a bit of a ramble and if you are still with me reading this, how do you hold on to hope and how do we arrive at change?
I used to believe in all the great quotes:
"There is no doubt a small group of people can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has."
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."
Yaddy-yaddy- yadda!
Now those hopeful messages just seem false. And I'm sad. Maybe I need more examples of hope. I saw Blind Side and was so happy, that I decided to read Precious, another advertised hope-filled story. At the end of that book, I thought if this is what they are selling as hope for our youth, there is no hope. At the end, she was still not going to find the happiness she deserved and my heart hurt. And there are true stories like Precious'.
I try to fix my complaints and volunteer. Put your money (and time) where your mouth is. I believe kids are the most important thing in the world, so I need to make a difference and help out there. Even this task has left me with a feeling of very little hope. We put on an event. Spend hours and hours of time volunteering so the kids have something to look forward to, and do you know what happens?! We have other parents, who do NOT volunteer making complaints about lighting and noise levels. Seriously?! I am losing faith in people EVERYDAY!
This may not seem like a big deal to some people, who never had hope in people the way I did. Maybe most of you already knew that the world is ugly. But for me, this feeling is a shocker! I have never been so pessimistic in my life and need to get back to having some faith in humanity.
There are people who never loose that. I will leave you with a story I keep replaying in my head because it is one of the only things that is helping me keep the hope. My great friend is a social worker. She will often call me with horrid stories about children and things she sees. It breaks my heart to no end. She is out there, helping one child at a time, do what is best, even if there is no sure option for what will be best. She was telling me a story about some kids she reunited with their mom. The mom was a drug addict and the kids were placed in foster care. The mom went through the programs and was clean long enough to get them back.
My pessimistic attitude was telling her, that mom doesn't deserve those kids back and that how does she feel comfortable placing them back in the home. She explained to me that sometimes, foster care isn't the best place for these kids either. She told me they will always favor reuniting the children back with their parents, as long as the parents take the steps to get their kids back. She was asking if I had anything to donate to the mom because she was newly back on her feet and needed a lot. I kept asking her about how she feels about this mom.
She said that sure she worries about putting the kids back into this home. She worried about putting them in the foster care program too. I asked her what happens if the mom relapses. She said of course that is a possibility. I asked how she remains so positive about the mom and kids and the whole messy situation. It seems doomed!
She said all she can do is hope and have faith. Day by day, clean drug test after clean drug test. This mom loves her kids enough to stay clean. The mom got clean just to get those kids back and she has to believe that love will keep her straight. I don't think I could do that without judging her. But here is my friend, on the front lines of change, believing in people to do the right thing in the most grim circumstances. If she can keep her faith and hope, maybe I can get mine back!
I used to be such a hopeful person who believed in change and faith in humanity. Not. So. Much. Anymore. And it is making me sad... how do I get hope back?
Politics, the news, my belief in good people is losing optimism. Maybe this new outlook comes with age. I have heard of the cynical old people versus the hopeful youth. Maybe turning 28 has crossed me to the cynical stage. At any rate, it seems like caring is something for fools. Let me try to explain...
I have always had an interest in government, the issues, voting, the whole you can make a difference. There seems to be just too much grey matter now, for me. It seems as though everyone is shouting at the top of their lungs for what they believe to be right, not hearing the other side; no compromise in sight. It is tiring to convince someone what you believe to be right. It seems impossible to reach a conclusion with such opposite sides of the spectrum. It's almost as if we live in two different countries with democratic and republican views. People say things only to offend half of their friends and get confirmation from the other half. Really?! The only way we feel validated is when we are preaching to the choir. How then, do we see any change without an understanding of the opposition? Not. Gonna. Happen.
Then there is me. Strong in my beliefs, but not so strong I can't see the other point. Then I start to think that this must be from a lack of conviction in my own thoughts, because everyone else seems so sure. How are they sure they know what is best for our country? From their couches, I'm sure the answers seem so simple. I imagine they feel the same way about our current president, as I felt about our last. We get to a point where we are fighting so hard for our own sides, both sides fail and cannot celebrate any victories or change to the current system.
Although I have not looked up current statistics to share, I can go from my own experiences and examples. And what are stats anyway?! We can all find evidence to support our views. But here is the confusion.
I know people who take advantage of our system. Find ways to lie and get all they can. No one wants to pay for these people, but they seem to be the ones who benefit the most from our busted system. I know people who would benefit from assistance from our government, but don't qualify because they are too honest. These are single moms who are going to school to make a better life for themselves, but somehow by exerting any effort for their future, can't qualify for food on their tables. These are the people who deserve our tax money, but don't qualify for it. So I believe that help is needed. I want to help. I want to pay taxes for people who need these programs. I believe in these programs, but the programs are failing to those who need the help and enabling those who are taking advantage. Big. Mess. No. Hope.
Watching the news is another doosey. You can do everything right in your own life and some a-hole can come and strip you of everything. Killings, rapes, child molesters....really?! Why is the world so ugly? And how do you stop it? I have no clue and am losing hope in the fact that someone may know how to fix it. I am losing hope that it can even be fixed.
I cried the other day. Wept more like. I was watching Leah sing and dance and my eyes just welled up with tears. An hour before this, the news reported finding Chelsea King's body. As I watched Leah, I imagined Chelsea's parents. How they must have done everything by the books and right. Loved their daughter, as I do mine. How they admired her, listened to her sing, much like the way Leah's voice sounded like the sweetest thing I have ever heard. How can it be that you do everything right and live your life loving, just the way you are intended to, and be robbed of that joy from someone who did this type of crime before? If I saw the man today, I'd shoot him myself.
So part of me wants to go on, living my life in this bubble we have created, that is comfortable and joyful and without heartache. I want to not care about politics and what is going on in the news because I feel like there is no hope to fix it anyway. But then I realize that by not being involved, by losing hope, by ignoring what is broken, by staying in my bubble I will still be effected by the outside world. I can be robbed of this joy the same way Chelsea's parents were.
I know this is a bit of a ramble and if you are still with me reading this, how do you hold on to hope and how do we arrive at change?
I used to believe in all the great quotes:
"There is no doubt a small group of people can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has."
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."
Yaddy-yaddy- yadda!
Now those hopeful messages just seem false. And I'm sad. Maybe I need more examples of hope. I saw Blind Side and was so happy, that I decided to read Precious, another advertised hope-filled story. At the end of that book, I thought if this is what they are selling as hope for our youth, there is no hope. At the end, she was still not going to find the happiness she deserved and my heart hurt. And there are true stories like Precious'.
I try to fix my complaints and volunteer. Put your money (and time) where your mouth is. I believe kids are the most important thing in the world, so I need to make a difference and help out there. Even this task has left me with a feeling of very little hope. We put on an event. Spend hours and hours of time volunteering so the kids have something to look forward to, and do you know what happens?! We have other parents, who do NOT volunteer making complaints about lighting and noise levels. Seriously?! I am losing faith in people EVERYDAY!
This may not seem like a big deal to some people, who never had hope in people the way I did. Maybe most of you already knew that the world is ugly. But for me, this feeling is a shocker! I have never been so pessimistic in my life and need to get back to having some faith in humanity.
There are people who never loose that. I will leave you with a story I keep replaying in my head because it is one of the only things that is helping me keep the hope. My great friend is a social worker. She will often call me with horrid stories about children and things she sees. It breaks my heart to no end. She is out there, helping one child at a time, do what is best, even if there is no sure option for what will be best. She was telling me a story about some kids she reunited with their mom. The mom was a drug addict and the kids were placed in foster care. The mom went through the programs and was clean long enough to get them back.
My pessimistic attitude was telling her, that mom doesn't deserve those kids back and that how does she feel comfortable placing them back in the home. She explained to me that sometimes, foster care isn't the best place for these kids either. She told me they will always favor reuniting the children back with their parents, as long as the parents take the steps to get their kids back. She was asking if I had anything to donate to the mom because she was newly back on her feet and needed a lot. I kept asking her about how she feels about this mom.
She said that sure she worries about putting the kids back into this home. She worried about putting them in the foster care program too. I asked her what happens if the mom relapses. She said of course that is a possibility. I asked how she remains so positive about the mom and kids and the whole messy situation. It seems doomed!
She said all she can do is hope and have faith. Day by day, clean drug test after clean drug test. This mom loves her kids enough to stay clean. The mom got clean just to get those kids back and she has to believe that love will keep her straight. I don't think I could do that without judging her. But here is my friend, on the front lines of change, believing in people to do the right thing in the most grim circumstances. If she can keep her faith and hope, maybe I can get mine back!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
20/20
This last year I have been working my butt off, literally, to try and lose some weight. At first, I was irritated and had possibly the worst attitude about working out. And while I can still say it isn't my favorite activity, I am getting better at it. If I miss too many days I feel a little off. I have been consistently working out for about a year and slowly, VERY s..lo...w...ly, have lost 20 lbs. This means 20 more to go!!!
But, I have hit a bit of a road block this week. I have been wanting to eat everything bad, sit on the couch and do nothing. My motivation has left and I need it back, quick like.
There is so much going on this year. I want to be in shape for my 10 year high school reunion and some weddings. The most important is our 10 year wedding anniversary!! =)
Since Bobby and I have been married we talk about what we will look like in the next ten years. We have always talked about being in our best shape for this anniversary. Now it's less than 6 months away and I'm losing steam. We have the destination picked out... CABO! And I can't not look good on the beaches of Cabo. We have a bet as well. If I lose my 10% body fat, he's getting a tattoo. It's part of the deal to keep me motivated. I have upped the anti and am thinking to make it really worth it, the tattoo should have my name in it, right?!
I am writing this as a promise to myself that I will get there. After this therapeutic blog I'm going to get in some cardio. And maybe, if you're lucky, I will be able to actually post the bathing suit picture from our celebration!
But, I have hit a bit of a road block this week. I have been wanting to eat everything bad, sit on the couch and do nothing. My motivation has left and I need it back, quick like.
There is so much going on this year. I want to be in shape for my 10 year high school reunion and some weddings. The most important is our 10 year wedding anniversary!! =)
Since Bobby and I have been married we talk about what we will look like in the next ten years. We have always talked about being in our best shape for this anniversary. Now it's less than 6 months away and I'm losing steam. We have the destination picked out... CABO! And I can't not look good on the beaches of Cabo. We have a bet as well. If I lose my 10% body fat, he's getting a tattoo. It's part of the deal to keep me motivated. I have upped the anti and am thinking to make it really worth it, the tattoo should have my name in it, right?!
I am writing this as a promise to myself that I will get there. After this therapeutic blog I'm going to get in some cardio. And maybe, if you're lucky, I will be able to actually post the bathing suit picture from our celebration!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
